Always go to the end. Dwell in the end, and you will hurt no one. But if you try to devise the means, you are, well, messing the whole thing up. I have had people say to me, “You know, I want that man, and no other man.”
I said, “No, you don’t; you want to be happily married. You don’t want that man or no man.”
“Oh, yes, that man or no man.”
Then, of course, this always shocks them.
I say, “If he dropped dead right now, would you want to be married?”
“Well, he isn’t going to drop…”
“I didn’t ask you that. If he dropped dead right now, or if he is right this very moment accused of being the world’s greatest thief or murderer, do you still want him”
“Well, now, why ask those questions, Neville? I want that man.”
But, you see, it isn’t that man. They want to be happily married. I have gone to so many weddings where it was either that man or none, and it wasn’t “that man”! And they are embarrassed when they see me standing in the aisle, because it had to be “that man or no man,” and here it isn’t that man at all. And they walk down [the aisle] – they are happy with their new mate, but a little sheepish as they pass by because they know I know he was not the man.